I would say, very gently, that it is easy to think that what is most embarrassing for us is most embarrassing for other people, too - but I don't think that's the case. If you mean just for you, all good! But I have made similar mistakes assuming my experience is the experience most people have, when in fact it wasn't! I think this also goes to the assumption that all allosexuals function by fucking their way to romance. I see at the end that you're still figuring stuff out - that's great. I love it. I write to explore my feelings, too!!